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the sure shot

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[23 Feb 2004|12:19am]
ive reached my breaking point.i cant stand it here, i cant stand these people.its my time to get out.its time ive forgotten you people because youve already forgotten me, save a few.im breaking away and at the same time lashing out.i just cant believe things came to a head and then fell right off.this by far has been the worst year of my life.and i dont want your pity.come next fall im sailing away, of course ill be back but certainly not to stay.ive burnt all the bridges and im probably burning a few more right now.there are still a few people that at least mean something and whats more, they treat me with a certain amount of respect that i appreciate.ive been swallowed up in this towns mediocrity for far too long.someday ill be back and maybe all these bridges ive burnt, well maybe those people will forgive me for being such the asshole ive been known to be.i guess this is goodbye.

theres no reason to stay.i guess there never was.
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[20 Feb 2004|12:27am]
le sigh.
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[17 Feb 2004|09:00pm]
i miss you.
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[11 Feb 2004|11:56pm]
ive dug myself a nice little hole these days.and i call it loneliness.on a whim i drove out to oswego the other night.definitely wish i had someone with me.somebody to talk to and somebody to watch fall asleep.i wish my life were more like a movie, ive got all this dead air.ive got a saying for situations somewhat pertaining to that, but uh, like many things its kind of lost its touch.even magic.im so sick of this winter now, long sleeve shirts that are so jealous of short sleeved shirts that they cant help but be like them.and they fit like a glove so long as you dont wash them.ive reverted a little back to my bitchy complainy self, but only in my head and i catch myself more often than not, i just need something to even me out.i miss it sometimes.ive finished another book, if anybody reads these days, dispatches by michael herr.i give it my seal of approval.i started drawing again, and indeed im still not very good at it, but ill be switching my major to art so might as well get all the head start i can.
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[05 Feb 2004|12:48am]
poor girl.shes such a sweetheart and i havent talked to her in a long while, now this.
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[03 Feb 2004|12:23am]
honestly, i miss how things used to be.
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[02 Feb 2004|09:18pm]
who wants to be my friend?
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[29 Jan 2004|11:57pm]
next time you get the chance...douse your wrist in water and stick it to the metal door of a freezer that keeps itself below zero.i promise you wont be disappointed, picture coming soon.
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[27 Jan 2004|07:03pm]
i wanna play in the snow.sooo bad.or at least go walk in it or something.god im boring.
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[20 Jan 2004|02:28pm]
the commencement of my last semester at occ begins tomorrow.i think that i accomplished my main intention of attending that cess pool of apathy.in the year and a half ive been there, i honestly have not done anything im really proud of.those words are full of inspiration.
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[09 Jan 2004|03:36am]
i am going to birth a baby dinosaur.
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[07 Jan 2004|03:06am]
had a whimsical feeling of notstalgia just now.its funny how things change.i had it good for a while and i didnt even realize it.i can be such an uptight asshole sometimes, its so ridiculous.its funny.ho hum what to do with my life.i hate you productivity, you demand so much time and patience and i have so little of both.last semester all lined up aiming towards my bright future.im going places i tell you.my apathy is getting the best of me and this break is dragging me down, its hard to make the best of things when you dont have a lot of options.i want something new.i want change.i want to be away from the people that could care less about me.its time i did something with my life.
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goodbye [29 Dec 2003|09:11pm]
somehow im not surprised.and im not surprised that its all happening in a relatively short span of time.distancing from all my friends.i never thought that it would happen this way.these past few years were not what i was planning on.and it couldnt have been planned any worse.lost the one person who i considered my best friend.ive never been someones best friend.yeah, i suck.
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cringe [20 Dec 2003|10:26pm]
im getting rid of most of the things that remind me of you, save a few things.who knows if you even read this anymore.ive needed to do this for a while, its tearing me up inside.i dont know if its weird that i saved these things for this long, but it just seems like ive been holding out and hoping that youll come around and it must be that ive been holding on to that idea for a couple months now.i guess i still am.its so depressing.gah, im so depressing.
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[20 Dec 2003|12:47am]

i got bit by a dog today.
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[15 Dec 2003|11:19pm]
having second thoughts about so much.i wish i had someone to talk to about all this, but im a loner and not terribly happy about that.and christmas is coming, super.im so lonely and so miserable these days.pitiful me.
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[05 Dec 2003|12:00pm]
that picture is soooooooooooo not centered.
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[03 Nov 2003|07:19pm]
counting down the days until im out of here.it may be in a year or so, but thats just fine and dandy.
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[30 Oct 2003|01:47am]
well ive had a string of good days lately, very pleased with that.kfcs getting better, the moneys getting better, raises all over the place.been keeping myself busy, doing good in school.kind of making some friends.making plans for next year.liking where im headed but enjoying now too.things have been quite pleasant and im very grateful.
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[09 Oct 2003|12:57am]
i am not a lasting impression.
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